Mates on a mission tackle tough conversations

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Mike Rolls and Ben Pettingill, affectionately known as Legless and Blind have paid the Mannum community a visit in the last days of their Mates on a Mission initiative.

This is the boys’ seventh MOAM trip, all of them being in regional and rural areas right across the country.

The Mates on a Mission initiative has been hosted by South Australian suicide prevention charity Ski for Life.

Over the past week the boys have been to multiple rural communities around the Murraylands.

Their aim is to raise awareness and promote positive mental health wellbeing and suicide prevention.

“We’re very proud and privileged to continue to hopefully have an impact in a similar nature throughout the year more so than just that weekend on the river,” Mr Pettingill said.

When it comes to the idea of toughness in regional and sporting communities, there's a bit of a gap.

“We think about the word tough and our minds automatically go to the ‘she’ll be right’ or ‘toughen up and get on with it’ mentality,” Mr Pettingill said. 

“That old school definition of tough needs a bit of an upgrade,” Mr Roll said.  

At the age of 18, Mr Roll contracted meningococcal septicemia, resulting in the loss of two fingers, his right leg below the knee and eventually his left leg.

He had a five percent chance of surviving.

One of the biggest hurdles was not only opening up about how we were feeling but also intervening when we noticed something was off about someone else, he said.

In small communities we easily noticed when there were small changes in behaviour, but we often didn't have the courage to do something about it. 

“Whether it's leaning over the fence at footy … if you want to ask someone two or three times (how they’re going), don’t be afraid,” Mr Pettingill said.

“Life deals a hand of cards to every single one of us we often can’t control, it's then up to us to deal with them.”

For Mr Pettingill, his life changed overnight at the age of 16 when he contracted Leber hereditary optic neuropathy.

The rare genetic disease resulted in a 98 per cent loss of his vision.

“That was just part of my hand of cards … from then it was 'how do I manage that and keep on top of my mental health?'” he said.

After seeing his parents burst into tears at the diagnosis, he decided to put on a brave face.

"I thought if I pretended I was okay and acted positive that might help lift up others around me," he said.

"The problem with this behaviour was that it became a habit and pattern that I fell into."

After two years of bottling up everything, it finally came to a head after his dad pushed further to see how he was really feeling.

"This bottle that was full to the point of nearly over flowing, started pouring out," he said.

"I stopped pretending and was honest for the first time ... it was like this weight lifted off my shoulders."

"We’re especially good at ignoring mental pain, it's now time we stop," Mr Penttingill said. 

The last local Mates on a Mission show will be this Thursday, August 22, at the Southern Mallee Suns sporting club.

If you haven't had the chance to go along to a show, the boys have a podcast called Talkin' Tough.

Their aim is to show as many people as possible that, as Mr Roll said, “the toughest part about being tough is actually just getting up and talking about it.” 

• Get help: Contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, TIAC on 0488 846 988, MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36 or Headspace on 1800 650 890 or, in an emergency, call 000.